On August 24, 2009 I travelled to Utah with my son Zachary to see his first born child (at least that is what we thought we would be doing). When we got to Utah Zach was able to go to the hospital for a 20 min visit with Addison Rose Sailsbury (White). I stayed at my sisters house to visit with her and my parents. When I went into my parents room I was worried about how my father looked. For the past two years he has been struggling with his health and on this day he didnt look very good.
I gave him a big kiss and told him I loved him and he told me he loved me too. The next day Zach and I arrived at my sisters and we had seen a moose on the way down from Powder Mountain where we were staying so I was anxious to tell my mom and dad all about it. I gave both my parents a kiss and asked my dad "Ya know what I saw today on the way here?" and he responded with "an elk?" I told him no I saw a moose and he said how strange that was and then he closed his eyes. I rubbed his head (like I normally would) and he said how that felt good, I also held his hand and rubbed his chest. I had brought a gift to my parents. It was a frame that can be changed up for each season. My mom and I were talking about where to hang the frame and my dad being the long time painter said (without opening his eyes) "DONT PUT ANY HOLES IN THE WALLS!" I knew at that point that my dad was still in there. Later on I noticed that my dad was not as responsive as he usually was when I have visited before and I became quite concerned. I remember telling my sister Robin that I was not even sure he knew I was there. I shed tears on that Tuesday because I knew my dad was close to the end.
On Wednesday, when I arrived at my sisters I kissed my parents and realized that dad didnt even want to open his eyes and he was having trouble answering my questions. I was so worried. I called my sister in CA to tell her that Dad wasnt doing well and I was so worried. Again more tears. I was also struggling at this point with the fact that my son and I were not able to visit Addison. Not only was I loosing my dad but I was also not able to meet my first grandchild. Wednesday evening the family called for a blessing and my brother Bruce and other worthy male members administerd to my dad asking for him to have rest until passing. My dad was twitching and moaning and would occasionally yell out. I knew having him pass was going to be very hard on my mom and my family but I just wanted him to have some peace and to not be in pain anymore. After the blessing I found a moment in the room with just my mom and dad. I gave my dad a kiss and told him how much I love him and for the first time that day my talked to me and he said "I love you too!" Those were the last words my dad said to me and I will cherish them forever.
That night there were a couple of times that my mom thought he had passed away and she asked us if we were sure he was gone. I was so worried about her being alone in the room with Dad incase he did pass away. My sister and I decided that I would sleep in the room with mom and dad. My mom would not leave the recliner chair so she slept there and held Dad's hand and I slept in her twin bed. All night long my dad would reach over and grab my hand. I worried his arm would fall asleep so i kept moving it back to his bed and he insisted on holding my hand. I realized that after 67 years of holding my moms hand in his sleep this was such a natural instinct and reinforced for me the love they have for each other.
Thursday was more of the same. I could see my dads eyes change and become distant and my sister and I kept telling him to find peace and go to see Mel (my oldest sister that died when she was 12 -- 50+ years ago) and we asked him to be with his parents and Jesus. We found out that my oldest sister Peggy was flying in to town on Friday and I remember telling my dad that Peg was on her way and would be there on Friday. Dad made it through this day with us holding his hand and many grandchildren stopping by to tell him of their love.
Friday came and I spent a good portion of the morning arguing on the phone with the hospital my grand daughter was at about my rights as a grandparent and my son's rights as a father. It was revealed that she did not list him on the birth certificate and so the hospital would not let us see Addison. While I was on the phone Peggy arrived. I was so upset and frustrated that we decided to go in and be with Dad. Me, Peggy, my sister Teri and Robin all went in to be with Dad and Peggy said hello to him and mom. Peggy suggested we put on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for my Dad because it is his very favorite. Robin got the CD player working and the song that came on was "How Great Thou Art" and the look on my Dad's face changed. He closed his mouth, opened his eyes wide like he could see the angles singing him into heaven, and Robin whispered in his ear "Go to the arms of the Savior" Peggy and I held his hand and Peggy rubbed his head and we all assured him that we loved him and it was time to be at rest. I was watching his chest slow down and his right carotid artery go from pumping fast to not pumping at all. I knew he had gone. I was so sad for my loss and yet so greatful for my Dad being at rest.
I love you Reed Howey Henderson -- 9/27/1923 to 8/28/2009
