Birthday thoughts

42 years old today.....my day started at 3:16 am ironically when I woke up for a moment to notice I had a text message from my oldest son. He sent me birthday wishes at 12:01 am and I was so impressed....then I really read message and it said "HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!" that little turkey. When I woke up for the day I had hopes for balloons, someone to make me breakfast, a day off and to feel relaxed. Instead I awoke to still feeling angry at a fight I had with my husband, no one to make me breakfast, and NO BALLOONS!

I did get great messages from my daughter and my youngest son said happy birthday this morning when he got up.

I got up and made myself a cup of hot chocolate (the way my mom used to and some toast loaded with butter...again the way my mom used to...and enjoyed every last drop as I dipped my toast in the cocoa and it was yummy. I then got dressed and attempted to take my son to school and got angry at him as I drove. After I dropped him off my heart sank and I wanted to turn around and go back to school, find him in class and give him a hug to tell him I loved him and was very sorry.....I had to settle for a text message to him instead. I just knew if something happened to me that was not what I wanted him to remember of me.

After arriving at work I got a wonderful phone call from my parents wishing me a happy birthday! I love them so much and wish I lived close enough to see them every day.

Around 11:00 am I got a dozen red roses delivered to my office. They were from my husband and daughter. :)

I am excited to see where this birthday ends up :)

Oh I wish this was around when my kids were little

I have ben reading my neice's blogs and am so glad this "blogging" is available for them and I so wish that it had been around when my kids were little. I think perhaps I will start to write things from their past so there is a history of their lives...SORRY KIDS

Reflective thinking

Ok I need to start blogging because it is a great way for me to journal every day and not forget the important things happening in our lives. Taking a clue from one of my neices I am going to write my comments down for each member of my family.

Lance: He is truly my knight in shining armor even though we fight more than I want. I always wanted to be with someone who would let me be me and I have that in him. I appreciate how hard he works (10-12 hours a day) to provide for me and the kids. I love him 7 -- L3 baby

Zach and Jessica: My dear sweet oldest son and his wife. Right now they are going through a rough patch and I want nothing more than for them to work out the differences. Zach has had a rocky road to travel for his 20 years and I want nothing more than for him to have some peace. Jessica has helped him mature so much. He is going to Weber State to become a nurse practitioner and I know with his empathy he will do well. I love you son!

Courtney: My beautiful daughter. She has matured into such a caring and loving young lady. I want for her to find trust in people and know that she does not have to do all the giving in a relationship. I am so glad that we have a friendship now and not the strained relationship from her youth. How proud I am of how responsible she is a work and how wonderful it was to be with her when she bought her first car! I love you Courtney!

Brendon: What an amazing young man. Brendon used to be the smallest in the family has grown to be 6'2" tall and still has more to go. He is highly intelligent and loves history. I am amazed daily at his awareness of the things that are important and how caring he truly is. He works for an assisted living center and the elderly people he works with think he is top notch! I hope he enjoys his high school life. I love you Brendon (Sunshine)